Primary

As soon as I can get myself together, I'll post the mountain of pictures from our time with Granny, Aunt Kerriann, Julia, Ella and Anna. We LOVED having them here! It was very sad to wave goodbye to them all yesterday. The house seems empty without the girls running around. Kids bring such life into a home. It's no wonder I want 5. My iPad is somewhat lonely too :) Can't wait to see family again!! COME VISIT!!!

We've been in Massachusetts for a little over two months and I finally got a calling today. Guess who's the new Primary Music Leader?! Yep. As many years as I've served in Primary, I've subbed for the Music Leader, but I've never actually held that calling. I think it's going to be challenging. As much as I love to sing - planning something that will engage the kids every week is going to be the hurdle. 

I stayed in Primary today to see how the current Sister does the job and sat through Sharing Time with Johnny. We sat in the back and couldn't really see Galina, I didn't really hear much of what was going on either, but at one point the Primary President sang a song about reverence for the children and after she finished she asked, "What did you feel while I was singing?" I couldn't see Galina but I guess she raised her hand because Sister Wright asked her what she felt and Galina said, "The Spirit." She's such a sweet little girl. Several people have referred to her as an "old soul" and I'm inclined to agree. She's very willing to sit and listen to things, and she truly does listen. It amazes me everyday. It also scares me a little - have to be very careful about what she hears! 

Johnny is finally starting to really walk! He's too adorable. And very much the charmer. I always feel bad for whoever we sit in front of during Sacrament because he stands and talks to them or gives them toys or plays peek-a-boo with them. I try not to let him, but sometimes it's that or listen to him scream. He can already throw a tantrum. I can't wait... During part of Church today there were two little boys around Johnny's age and all three of the boys ended up crawling around each other in the foyer. It was the first time Johnny had ever really been around kids his age. One of the boys (who's name was Jason - which I thought was funny) would crawl towards Johnny and Johnny acted like he was being chased. It was cute. I think Johnny will enjoy nursery when it's time.

I had to give a talk today and I decided to chronicle it here. You don't have to read it, but I just wanted it in a place that I knew it would be kept. Not much of it is my original work - but still, I think it'll be nice to have in the blog book. So, here it is:

     I was asked to speak on The Gift of Repentance and I wasn't quite sure what direction to take with my topic until I read a talk by D. Todd Christofferson called "The Divine Gift of Repentance", it said, "Repentance is a divine gift, and there should be a smile on our faces when we speak of it. It points us to freedom, confidence, and peace."

     I was feeling a little overwhelmed by such a broad topic and also feeling a sort of sadness since repentance is only necessary because we sin. But, when I read that, that we should have a smile on our faces when we speak of it, I felt like my talk should be more of a glad call to repentance because of the joy it brings. 

     Elder Boyd K. Packer said, "Save for the exception of the very few who defect to perdition, there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no apostasy, no crime exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness. That is the promise of the atonement of Christ."

     Satan would like us to believe otherwise. He would like us to believe that once we sin, we cannot turn back, that it is hopeless.

  President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, in a 2007 General Conference address said, 

     "During my training to become an airline captain, I had to learn how to navigate an airplane over long distances. Flights over huge oceans, crossing extensive deserts, and connecting continents need careful planning to ensure a safe arrival at the planned destination. Some of these nonstop flights can last up to 14 hours and cover almost 9,000 miles.

     There is an important decision point during such long flights commonly known as the point of safe return. Up to this point the aircraft has enough fuel to turn around and return safely to the airport of departure. Having passed the point of safe return, the captain has lost this option and has to continue on. That is why this point is often referred to as the point of no return.

     Satan, “the father of all lies” (2 Nephi 2:18), “the father of contention” (3 Nephi 11:29), “the author of all sin” (Helaman 6:30), and the “enemy unto God” (Moroni 7:12), uses the forces of evil to convince us that this concept applies whenever we have sinned. The scriptures call him the “accuser” because he wants us to feel that we are beyond forgiveness (see Revelation 2:10). Satan wants us to think that when we have sinned we have gone past a “point of no return”—that it is too late to change our course.Wherever you find yourselves on this journey through life, whatever trials you may face, there is always a point of safe return; there is always hope. You are the captain of your life, and God has prepared a plan to bring you safely back to Him, to your divine destination.

    The gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ provides us at all times and at all places with the blessings of repentance and forgiveness. Because of this gift, the opportunity to make a safe return from the disastrous course of sin is available to all of us."

     While we can speak of repentance with a smile, it is not something that can be done with one. I've taught Galina that repentance means saying that you're sorry to Heavenly Father and to whomever you hurt, and never doing it again, and that is fine for her. But you and I know that it is not simply a check-list on a piece of paper.

     Elder Jay E. Jensen of the Seventy related the following story:

     Some years ago I worked in the Missionary Department of the Church. We were developing materials to help missionaries be better and do better. One of the General Authorities shared this experience about repentance:

     “A little over a year ago, I had the privilege of interviewing a young man to go on a mission. Because he had committed a major transgression, it was necessary for him under then-existing policy to be interviewed by a General Authority. When the young man came in, I said, ‘Apparently there’s been a major transgression in your life, and that has necessitated this interview. Would you mind telling me what the problem was? What did you do?’

     “He laughed and said, ‘Well, there isn’t anything I haven’t done.’ I said, ‘Well, let’s be more specific then. Have you … ?’ And then I began to probe with some very specific questions. The young man laughed again and said, ‘I told you; I’ve done everything.’

     “I said, ‘How many times have you … ?’ He said very sarcastically, ‘Do you think I numbered them?’ I said, ‘I wish you could if you can’t.’ He said, again quite sarcastically, ‘Well, I can’t.’

     “I said, ‘How about … ?’ And then I probed in another direction. He said, ‘I told you. I’ve done everything.’ I said, ‘Drugs?’ He said, ‘Yes,’ in a very haughty attitude. I said, ‘What makes you think you’re going on a mission then?’ He said, ‘I know I’m going. My patriarchal blessing says I’ll go on a mission, and I’ve repented. I haven’t done any of those things for this past year. I have repented, and I know I’m going on a mission.’

     “I said, ‘My dear friend, I’m sorry, but you are not going on a mission. Do you think we could send you out with those clean, wholesome young men who have never violated the code? Do you think we could have you go out and boast and brag about your past? You haven’t repented; you have just stopped doing something.

     “Sometime in your life you need to visit Gethsemane; and when you have been there, you’ll understand what repentance is. Only after you have suffered in some small degree as the Savior suffered in Gethsemane will you know what repentance is. The Savior has suffered in a way none of us understands for every transgression committed. How dare you laugh and jest and have a haughty attitude about your repentance? I’m sorry; you are not going on a mission.’

     “He started to cry, and he cried for several minutes. I didn’t say a word. Finally, he said, ‘I guess that’s the first time I have cried since I was five years old.’ I said, ‘If you had cried like that the first time you were tempted to violate the moral code, you possibly would be going on a mission.’

     “He left the office, and I think he felt I was really cruel. I explained to the bishop and the stake president that the boy could not go on a mission.”

     About six months later the same General Authority returned to that city to speak in a lecture series held in the evening. When he finished, many young adults lined up to shake hands with him. As he shook hands one by one, he looked up and saw the young man that he had previously interviewed standing in the line about four back. The General Authority related the following:

    “My mind quickly flashed back to our interview. I recalled his laughing and haughty attitude. I remembered how sarcastic he was. Pretty soon he was right in front of me. I was on the stand bending over, and as I reached down to shake his hand, I noticed a great change had taken place. He had tears in his eyes. He had almost a holy glow about his countenance. He took my hand in his and said, ‘I’ve been there; I’ve been to Gethsemane and back.’ I said, ‘I know. It shows in your face.’

    "We can be forgiven for our transgressions, but we must understand that just to stop doing something is not repentance. If it had not been for the Savior and the miracle of forgiveness, this young man would have carried his transgressions throughout all eternity. We ought to love the Savior and serve Him for this reason and this reason alone.” (adapted from Vaughn J. Featherstone, in Conference Report, Stockholm Sweden Area Conference 1974, 71–73)

    Alma Chapter 24 verse 10 says, "And I also thank my God, yea my great God, that he hath granted unto us that we might repent of these things, and also that he hath forgiven us of those our many sins…and taken away the guilt from our hearts through the merits of his Son."

    Christ suffered for us, suffered beyond any of our comprehension. It is not for us to mock that suffering by taking the process of repentance lightly. OR by putting it off. Now is the time to repent. 

    Neil L. Anderson of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles said, "Divine forgiveness is one of the sweetest fruits of the gospel, removing guilt and pain from our hearts and replacing them with joy and peace of conscience. Jesus declares, "Will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you?"

     He further said, "So many live with accusing guilt when relief is ever at hand. So many are like the immigrant woman who skimped and saved and deprived herself until, by selling all of her possessions, she bought a steerage-class ticket to America.

     She rationed out the meager provisions she was able to bring with her. Even so, they were gone early in the voyage. When others went for their meals, she stayed below deck—determined to suffer through it. Finally, on the last day, she must, she thought, afford one meal to give her strength for the journey yet ahead. When she asked what the meal would cost, she was told that all of the meals had been included in the price of her ticket."

    We can often be so hard on ourselves that forgiving ourselves then becomes the trial of repentance. As I was researching repentance for this talk, I came across a story that President Faust had shared, it read, “As a small boy on the farm … , I remember my grandmother … cooking our delicious meals on a hot woodstove. When the wood box next to the stove became empty, Grandmother would silently pick up the box, go out to refill it from the pile of cedar wood outside, and bring the heavily laden box back into the house.”

President Faust’s voice then filled with emotion as he continued: “I was so insensitive … I sat there and let my beloved grandmother refill the kitchen wood box. I feel ashamed of myself and have regretted my [sin of] omission for all of my life. I hope someday to ask for her forgiveness.” 

    If President Faust still remembered and regretted not helping his grandmother after all those years, should we be surprised with some of the things we still remember and regret?

The scriptures do not say that we will forget our forsaken sins in mortality. Rather, they declare that the Lord will forget.

    Repentance is not a one-time event. It is a process. I think that remembering our past sins, feeling that sadness is still part of the repentance journey. Perhaps a warning to keep us from going back down the wrong path, perhaps a quiet reminder of the covenant we make when we repent, to continually turn our lives to the Lord, to keep striving to be kind, unselfish, patient and spiritual.  

     In closing I want to share this analogy, from a general conference address entitled “The Brilliant Morning of Forgiveness,” by President Boyd K. Packer, 

“In April of 1847, Brigham Young led the first company of pioneers out of Winter Quarters. At that same time, 1,600 miles [2,575 km] to the west the pathetic survivors of the Donner Party straggled down the slopes of the Sierra Nevada Mountains into the Sacramento Valley.

“They had spent the ferocious winter trapped in the snowdrifts below the summit. That any survived the days and weeks and months of starvation and indescribable suffering is almost beyond belief.

“Among them was fifteen-year-old John Breen. On the night of April 24 he walked into Johnson’s Ranch. Years later John wrote:

“‘It was long after dark when we got to Johnson’s Ranch, so the first time I saw it was early in the morning. The weather was fine, the ground was covered with green grass, the birds were singing from the tops of the trees, and the journey was over. I could scarcely believe that I was alive.

“‘The scene that I saw that morning seems to be photographed on my mind. Most of the incidents are gone from memory, but I can always see the camp near Johnson’s Ranch.’”

Said President Packer: “At first I was very puzzled by his statement that ‘most of the incidents are gone from memory.’ How could long months of incredible suffering and sorrow ever be gone from his mind? How could that brutal dark winter be replaced with one brilliant morning?

“On further reflection I decided it was not puzzling at all. I have seen something similar happen to people I have known. I have seen some who have spent a long winter of guilt and spiritual starvation emerge into the morning of forgiveness. When morning came, they learned this:

“‘Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more’ [D&C 58-42]

D. Todd Christofferson said, "The divine gift of repentance is the key to happiness here and hereafter." 

I'm grateful for the knowledge that my sins, through Christ's atonement, can be forgiven and remembered no more. I'm grateful for the gift of repentance. I bare my testimony that this is the only true Church, and I'm grateful that I have the privilege and the responsibility to live and share this gospel. I'm grateful for the responsibility of being a wife and a mother. I believe that Thomas S. Monson is a true Prophet of God, and that Joseph Smith was a true Prophet of God. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.