Dena Wagoner

Mom, Dena Wagoner, Melissa Wagoner Melsoni, Galina, Katie and Johnny

On Saturday, March 7, 2015, Dena Wagoner passed away.

These two ladies, my family has seemingly always known. Dena taught my older brother in first grade, and Melissa was in my kindergarten class. I remember going to her house one evening for her birthday - one of my earliest memories not related to my family. My Dad took me and I remember we left quickly, not surprising since my Dad took me. Her house was dark, I know now that that was because most of it was finished in dark wood (floors, ceiling, etc.). There were a ton of children and we were allowed to see the swings in the backyard, but because it was evening, we didn't play on them.

After kindergarten, Melissa and I were always in school together. We also took ballet (she took EVERY dance class offered) together in middle school, at the same studio. We weren't super close friends until high school. My sophomore year of high school a new chorus teacher came. Her name was Joanna Mercer and she turned the music department of our high school upside down. 

The school had just built a brand new (crappy, but new) auditorium and she, Joanna, was determined to put on a musical. She chose 'The Wizard of Oz' for her first production and held auditions. Most of us were in her chorus classes, so I think she knew who she wanted to cast, but there were a few surprises. Melissa was cast as Auntie Em and I was cast as Glinda, the Good Witch. Melissa should have, most definitely been Dorothy, but another little girl got that part and I'm afraid Dena, while always good naturedly, never quite forgave Joanna for that move. 

The next year we did 'Grease' and I got cast as Sandy. Melissa was cast as Frenchie. She was always heart and soul into her parts, whereas I was never fully able to erase the audiences presence from my performances! Finally, our senior year, Joanna chose 'Bye Bye Birdie' and Melissa was cast as Rosie, I was the teenage girl, I can't even remember her name. Melissa was fantastic, she owned the show and Dena could not have been happier. It was a part made for Melissa! 

Anyhow, through all of this Dena took care of me. When Joanna was testing the waters with songs from 'Grease,' it was Dena that made Melissa and I poodle skirts, probably some others as well! She ordered t-shirts with 'Pink Ladies' screen printed on the back. When it came musical time, she was 100% there, supportive, helping everyone - I honestly can't think of any facet of those shows that Dena did not help with. Costumes, programs, cakes for goodness sake - she did it all, and wonderfully! 

She gave me two sterling silver butterfly necklaces to commemorate my Glinda costume during Wizard of Oz, she gave me several Glinda figurines (which have been Galina's since birth). For my 16th birthday, she printed up invitations, complete with envelopes and sticker seals. She was always, always thinking of other people. And she never, ever stopped. 

I graduated from high school, so did Melissa, and we went in completely different directions. She went to a private college, I went to Appalachian State six hours away. Melissa got married early, I got engaged and then broke it off. Melissa moved to California, I moved home. We still saw each other when she was home, just to catch up. Those visits never stopped either. When I finally got married, she sent me a wedding gift (Italian chef kitchen towels and oven mitts & a gift card). When I had Galina she sent boxes of presents before, and then after and for every birthday Galina has had, and Johnny too! 

When I came home to visit from Hawaii, she packed up a lunch and brought it out to my parents (always with a gigantic flower arrangement) and dragged Melissa along with her. They would spend hours sitting and chatting with me and Mom. 

Dena had a ton of health issues, but they were all secondary to the people around her.

Finally, Melissa got pregnant (she had had several miscarriages) and Dena was over the moon. I think she had been buying things for a grand baby since Melissa was born. (Side note: I remember she once pulled out the scrap book that she kept for Melissa, at least one volume of it, and it was a.m.a.z.i.n.g.!!) This past September I offered and am so glad that she accepted my help in planning Melissa's baby shower! It was wonderful to go to her house and sit and plan and then to help prepare everything on the day of - please don't think I did a lot. She had her ideas and knew what she wanted, I merely agreed and encouraged and helped where I could. The shower was beautiful. Dena clearly had a lot of friends because I think 98% of the people there, were there for Dena. As I was, truth be told. 

Melissa had her baby in October and Dena got to have several months of unencumbered happiness with that little girl. Sadly, in November, she was diagnosed with colon cancer. She underwent surgery in December to remove the cancer, and was undergoing chemotherapy starting in February. She caught a cold and a bacterial infection last week and by Friday morning, she was gone. Very unexpected. I cannot tell you the number of lives she touched. In our family, she was considered wonderfully crazy, blunt, and just plain awesome. 

I'm not sure why I'm including this in my blog, other than I really cared for her. She was always thinking of others, her tongue cut like a knife, but there was absolutely nothing she would not do for you. When I visited their home during high school, she always had the snacks that I personally liked. She always had a gift to give, and a new craft to show. She loved decorating Christmas trees with the battery powered Hallmark ornaments (told me once that they were Melissa's legacy). She loved Yankee candles, and her husband and daughter. She loved the Tarheels and her little dogs. She LOVED 'The Wizard of Oz' and they always had extra of everything. It was amazing. I'm so sad for their family, I'm sad myself, but I know that she is in Heaven and I'm so grateful that I got to know her here on earth. I look forward to seeing her again one day.